D#12, HW#4, Style

Section 1, Word Choice. I think the word choice for me was most critical in my introductory paragraph. I didn't really tell a complete story about somebody, but a few one-line sentences about different common poverty situations. I haven't written like that before, or even seen somebody do that so it was critical that I made it sound ok, and I hope I did!

There is a family living ten houses down from you. Do you know them? Last night they had to decide if they should buy groceries or put gas in their car. In fact, one out of every ten homes in the United States struggle with this same problem (Triplett). On your way to work this morning you passed a man sitting on the street corner. Did you notice him? There was a 70% chance he was severely mentally handicapped, a United States veteran, or had children hiding in the shade behind the bushes (Triplett). While walking through the parking lot, finding your way into the store, you passed a parked car. That was somebody's home. The woman inside had no family or friends, no address to put on her welfare application. This woman was denied government aid because of it. Although the government of the United States of America provides welfare for their citizens suffering from poverty, it is not enough. To lower the number of people living in poverty, there must be changes made within the government. There must be more easily attainable aid for people who need and deserve it. Instead of increasing the restrictions to receive aid, the restrictions should be lowered and monitored more carefully.

Section 2, Sentence Structure. I think sentence structure was important in my second paragraph. It gives a history of poverty in America and it was important to keep the event in chronological order. I started with the earliest forms of welfare, to the welfare program currently.

Since 1935 the government has been trying to aid people suffering from poverty. They have tried several methods and passed several laws to help solve this issue. Some of the first attempts to give aid included poorhouses and orphanages. During this period of time, people would not accept the governments help unless they were extremely desperate. Those who were allowed the government's help were often shunned and rejected by their friends and neighbors. A few years after the poorhouses opened, the "mother's pension" was put into act which gave money to single mothers to allow them to stay at home and raise their children. This did not include mothers who were divorced or minorities. In 1935 the Social Security Act was established and the welfare of the people was put into the hands of the federal government. These new laws established old-age pensions and unemployment insurance but did not include farm workers or servants. Since then, the divorce rate skyrocketed and single mothers with children were able to receive government aid. In 1996 welfare control was mostly given back to the states, and no longer a federal responsibility (Constitutional Rights Foundation).

Section 3, Punctuation. Punctuation was important in the 3rd paragraph from the end. I used a lot commas to offset sentences in this paragraph. In this paragraph offsetting the sentences was the most effective and sounded the best, so that's what I used.

We, as Americans, are given the ability to vote. Several people, however, do not take advantage of it. Unlike several countries, Americans have the power to pass or petition laws. By carefully choosing the laws that are passed, Americans can make the difference in the lives of others, in their own lives, and the lives of those in poverty. When people do not vote, they are placing their future in the hands of those that do vote, who may have a different opinion.